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Seeing conflict at work as an opportunity to problem-solve

In a recent article in Psychology Today, author Lauren Florko gives practical advice on how to use a problem-solving mindset to respond to workplace conflict. 

The first step is knowing who you are and how you react to stress.  Do you have a fight, fright, or freeze response?  And how does that differ from your usual communication style?  For example, if you’re usually direct in how you communicate, in times of stress or conflict, do you retreat from your style and become indirect?  This may be a fright or freeze response.  Or do you cross the lines of direct and become curt or blunt?  This may be a fight response.  Knowing yourself is the key.  If you understand your instincts, you can better assess whether they’re leading you to the right way to approach the situation. 

Once you understand your stress response and communication style, it’s time to assess whether your style in action will be effective in the situation.  For example, if you tend to have a direct style, ongoing collaboration is necessary, and multiple viewpoints are required, you may want to consider a softer, more indirect approach. 

Using a style that isn’t instinctual takes practice.  Recognize, too, that you likely have multiple default styles and that the way you feel about one situation will be completely different to another. The most important thing to remember is to give yourself enough time and space to think through what’s happening and what the most effective response will be.